If you were around last summer then you probably heard about everything I went through in that year. My freshman year of college, and the summer after was consumed by headaches, which often turned to migraines, and in the end just turned out to be one big sinus infection. While enduring all this pain, I started to question God more and more. I didn’t know why He was allowing so much physical pain to over take my life. I am so thankful to have had a surgery in July that relieved so much of the pain I was experiencing. I went three months post surgery without headaches.
It’s November now, and for the past few weeks my head has been starting to hurt again. I don’t have a sinus infection, I just have the head pain. Pain that makes it hard to want to get out of bed and go to class, or go to community group and ignite which I typically love to go to. At this point, I am used to it and know that if I continually drink water then I will be fine for the commitments that I have. It is annoying though because I am not myself when I have a bad headache.
If I could use one word to describe what I have been feeling these past few weeks it would be, discouraged. I have been questioning God again, and struggling to trust in Him. I haven’t been able to find out what He is trying to prove to me by giving me these constant headaches, and I know I probably won’t know for a while. But what I do know is that God is the ultimate healer so I know that He could take these headaches away if He wanted to. It’s hard for us to find God in the painful moments, but these past few days I have really been praying hard, and trying my best to continue to remind myself that this is not a punishment.
I am thankful for my roommate during this time because she has been supportive and reassuring to me that this is just a season, and it won’t last forever. I am also thankful for my small group leader because the other day we were talking in the car about it, and everything she told me was very comforting and reassuring as well. She told me that God is good, and that He allows everything to happen for a reason. Even though we may be going through something, doesn’t mean that God is bad. He wants the best for us, and allows us to walk through certain situations for purposes that sometimes only He knows. I am blessed to have these ladies in my life who inspire me and help me to stay close to God during times where I may not really want to.
Have a great week everyone!