Wow, well it’s been a while since I have been able to update my blog. I half blame finals, and half blame WordPress not working properly on my computer lately. Finals ended, and I was able to head home for a much-needed break from school. I was able to catch up with friends I haven’t seen in a while, and just relax. I kid you not the whole first week I was home I think I went to bed at 8 o’clock every night because I was just that tired from school. Don’t judge. I was able to squeeze in a few days of babysitting before Christmas, and that really made me happy. I loved being back with some of my kiddos.
Christmas rolled around quickly and it was so different this year. It just did not feel like Christmas. My mom had to go to work in the morning for a few hours, and that just made the whole day feel thrown off. I went to work with my mom, and then after I headed to my grandma’s house to help her start cooking for Christmas dinner. We cooked, and before I knew it all my cousins arrived. It was great to get to see all of them. Since the hurricane school has kept me super busy so I haven’t been able to see them. It was crazy to see how much my little cousins have grown. We had a great dinner, and a fun time opening presents from each other. I think the going gift this year for girls my age is perfume and clothes because I got perfume and some sort of clothing from everyone in my family, I found myself wondering if that is what my dad would have gotten me this year too.
The day after Christmas was my dad’s birthday. Another emotional day for me. I took flowers to his grave and spent time by myself that whole day. It was important for me to just take time to myself to process my emotions. After visiting the cemetery, I drove around, and went and sat at Starbucks for a few hours. I read my bible for a while, sipped on some coffee, and just sat there reflecting. I was just in a daze of emotion. After sitting at Starbucks for like two hours I drove over to Davis Island. I sat by the water for a long time. My dad loved the water so just sitting by the bay was relaxing. I got out of my car and walked around for a bit just taking everything in. I was trying so hard to remember all the good memories we have together, but as I have gotten older I find it harder and harder for me to remember those memories we have. I have some written down in a journal somewhere but not all of them. Other things have started to consume my mind, and it has become challenging. I went out to dinner that evening with my mom, and it was just hard all the way through. I wish my dad was here so we could celebrate his birthday with him.
After those days passed, things started to look up a little bit. I was able to spend time with friends, and babysit a little more. As my break is coming to an end I was able to spend some time with the mom of my friend who passed away. As you probably read in my prior blog post about the dream I had you know that my friend B passed away. It was really hard losing her, but her mom is an amazing lady who reminds me so much of my friend. I enjoy any chance I get to be with her and being able to see her these past few days was a highlight of my break. Just yesterday I was able to get lunch with Denise before heading to Fort Lauderdale, and it was an amazing hour spent with her. Being able to talk, and just be there for her filled my heart. Having lost my dad almost 7 years ago, I am able to feel deeply for other people who have lost someone they love. I know that God put me through that hard loss when I was younger to prepare me for this moment right here. I had to walk through the storm, to be able to help other people in the midst of their storms. For years, I prayed to God to reveal His purpose for taking my dad, and now I am beginning to see it, almost 7 years after it all happened. Although it still hurts like crazy to not have my dad, I am beyond blessed to be able to support and lift other people up in times like this. It says in Romans 8 that God promises to bring good out of storms that bring hardship to our lives. I will be the first to admit that I did not think God was going to bring any good out of taking my dad away, but I am so thankful for the people He has placed in my life and the relationships I have been able to build up to this point after losing my dad.
I am to see how God uses me this new year! Stay tuned for an update about Spring semester once it begins! Have a great weekend everyone!